Sunday, September 12, 2010
Welcome to the Club
To my friends with special needs kids -- Here is a blog entry that will probably leave you speechless, and maybe like me, in tears. Does it speak to your heart too?
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Saving Vanessa
This story breaks my heart. I've been down this same road. It still hurts so, so bad.
As for me and mine, I'll be back soon for a personal update from the trenches. Life has been one out of control roller coaster. Mama needed a break from both living it and writing about it. KWIM?
As for me and mine, I'll be back soon for a personal update from the trenches. Life has been one out of control roller coaster. Mama needed a break from both living it and writing about it. KWIM?
Friday, April 9, 2010
My God...
Mom and grandma send adoptive son, 7, back to Russia...alone.
They should both be prosecuted.
Source: Voice of Russia.
They should both be prosecuted.
Another scandal over adopted Russian child in US
9.04.2010, 15:36 |
Another scandalous case, concerning a child who was adopted by an American citizen, has triggered a new wave of anger in Russia. A 8-year-old boy, Artyom Savelyev, who does not speak Russian, has arrived in Russia from the USA alone with a note, saying that his adoptive mother had disowned him.
This outrageous case is not the first one in a long chain of abusive acts against Russian children, who were adopted by foreigners. But the Russian Ombudsman Pavel Astakhov, who is currently finding out the details of this barbarous case, says he does not remember that such an act of cynicism - meaning that a little child was sent back alone across the ocean - has ever occurred before:
"The boy had with him only a covering letter, saying the adoptive mother was giving up her the adoption rights because she did not want to destroy herself, her family and her relationships, as she says".
Artyom's adoptive mother was a single woman, Torry Ann Hansen from the State of Tennessee. Both diplomats and journalists are trying to contact her now, aiming to find out what were the motives of her deed. As is known, the boy has arrived in Russia on a United Company flight. Protecting its passengers' interests, the company is providing no information about those who were on board, but says that all the procedures necessary for children traveling alone, or Unaccompanied Minor Service, were observed. A person, Artyom Savelyev was not acquainted with, met him in Moscow. He was found through the Internet, and he received 200 dollars for bringing the boy to the Russian Ministry of Education and Science.
In an interview for the Voice of Russia psychologist - Academician Sergei Klyuchnikov from the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences - explains the possible motives for the action that was committed by the adoptive mother of Artyom Savelyev:
"Probably, the child proved to be a problematic one. I do not rule out that our services did not tell her frankly that the child had some problems, but she herself should have shown her will, attention and interest, and to weigh her own strength. The fact that the child was sent back demonstrates that a person - in this case, Torry Ann Hansen - has taken such a serious act as an adoption as an ordinary purchase and returned the boy, as if he were simply goods she did not like".
Artyom Savelyev lived in the USA under the name of Justin Hansen for 6 months. Earlier he was an inmate in an orphanage in Partizansk in the Maritime Territory in Russia. And most likely, he will have to return there. So much the better, because cruelties of adults to children are never justified.
According to the Russian Ministry of Education and Science, 16 Russian children have died over the past 17 years through the fault of foreign adoptive parents. Ombudsman Pavel Astakhov and the deputies of the United Russia faction defend the toughening of the foreign adoption procedure. Likewise, a number of experts insist on the strengthening of control of Russian children, adopted by foreigners. Regrettably, for the time being such a practice does not exist in Russia. We receive nice accounts with spectacular photos of happy children. And then we learn that the children were beaten and humiliated or that they were treated like animals there.
Time will be needed for both Russia and America to study all the particulars of the difficult case of Artyom Savelyev as people in the USA are also angered with the behaviour of the adoptive mother of the young boy.
Source: Voice of Russia.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
The unlucky Baker's Dozen eggs
Our Easter bunny always hides a dozen plastic eggs in our front yard. (easier to make sure all are accounted for). Some are stuffed with candy, and some with money. This morning Dallas only found 11 eggs, since the Easter Bunny apparently had had too many glasses of wine and couldn't remember where she planted all the eggs the night before. Bad bunny!
Our son looked and looked - and we helped him - and he was getting extremely upset - nearing meltdown stage - that he couldn't find #12 but wouldn't give up looking. So being the quick-thinking mom and dad we are, we ducked in the house and grabbed a spare plastic egg that we thankfully had leftover. I asked my hubby for some change or a dollar bill to slip inside, but he only had big bills, and NO change. So he quickly dug in his wallet and handed me the smallest bill he had - a $5 bill to stuff inside. 8-/ Yeah, the Tooth Fairy has gone down that road too... but I digress...
My hubby walked back out with the egg hidden in his pocket, and quietly planted the egg in an easy to find spot, and it was found. It was dubbed the "Golden Egg" and all was right with the world... at least until later on today, when Dallas found egg #13...
Happy Easter everyone!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
What a difference a year makes!
The following is a desperate please for help I posted on a "Parents of Bipolar Children message board last May, almost one year ago. Reading it again was nearly a trigger for all the hopelessness and FEAR I felt back then. This was our life, pre-proper psychiatric care, and pre-bipolar medication, and after 3 years of therapy, behavioral modification, research, advocacy and and intervention. How can anyone, after reading this, and knowing we are successfully medicating our child for bipolar disorder, say it is no longer a valid diagnosis in children? Or a temper tantrum disorder. It is so, so much more:
I am mom to a 6 (almost 7) year old boy who has been dx with ADHD, anxiety and PTSD. He was adopted from foster care at age 4. He's the light of our lives, and a beautiful, charming bright child who has bonded well, despite his neglected, chaotic and abusive past. It has been a long, difficult struggle to help him though. Yesterday he became so violent that we had to call 911. That was the breaking point for us. We have to do something to help him as our family can not survive like this. He has ALL the flags for bipolar, except for mutilation, fire-starting and animal cruelty. We learned that there is a biological family history of generational violence, bipolar, depression and generational alcoholism on both sides. His "old school" psych has refused, for reasons beyond my comprehension, to evaluate, consider or treat him for BP, but is treating for ADHD (SA Ritalin) and sleep disturbances (Clonidine). He recently prescribed tricylic antidepressants as well because son had been threatening suicide (during a depressed cycle), but after much personal research (and our suspicions of BPD) we chose not to give him those for fear of psychotic/suicidal reaction. One of the main warnings of that drug was not to give to patients if there is even a possibility of BPD. It's the one medication decision WE made that goes against the pdoc. We are presently acquiring new insurance so that we can switch psychs and hopefully get a better evaluation.
I read The Bipolar Child searching for answers on my own, and it was as if a light switch had been turned on. THAT was MY CHILD.
I am not able to work as I never know if he's going to get to school on time (or even get out of bed!) or need to come home, or sleep at night, and we have lots of therapy appts, I have to help him with homework which takes hours at times, and generally, raising him has consumed my entire life. My son needs constant supervision because of his impulsive and dangerous behaviors, but we also walk on eggshells at times to not "trigger" him. Often, no matter what we do, he's spinning out of control and verbally and physically assaulting mostly ME, his mother. He rules the house when he's "spinning". Literally spinning. In a rage, he destroys property and has tried to hurt himself by banging his head, throwing his body against the walls and kitchen counters and hitting his own self. When he's depressed, he threatens suicide and says he has no friends and is stupid and withdraws. He does fin in school. The minute I pick him up from school and he feels "safe", often he starts begging for food or candy and being aggressive and oppositional. Most outsiders and friends don't see this side of him. He begs us to hit him. There are other times when it does feel normal and we can do normal family things (always keeping in mind at any moment we may have to try and head of a meltdown or rage, or leave an activity all together), but as time goes on, that "normal" is less and less and his behaviors are more severe and frightening. He has threatened to stab me and cut my head off while in a rage. His pupils are so dialated that his blue eyes are almost black and he seems "not there". He is very remorseful when an episode is over. Sometimes, he doesn't even recall all that he's done. He describes how he feels when he's cycling as his brain "is a computer and it has to much stuff spinning around in it". His life is miserable and we don't know how to help him.
This can't be just ADHD. He has a wonderful therapist, but there is only so much she can do. I just wondered if anyone else had this kind of struggle getting proper help and dx for their child so young?
Sad, scared, tired, beat up, mommy...
I am mom to a 6 (almost 7) year old boy who has been dx with ADHD, anxiety and PTSD. He was adopted from foster care at age 4. He's the light of our lives, and a beautiful, charming bright child who has bonded well, despite his neglected, chaotic and abusive past. It has been a long, difficult struggle to help him though. Yesterday he became so violent that we had to call 911. That was the breaking point for us. We have to do something to help him as our family can not survive like this. He has ALL the flags for bipolar, except for mutilation, fire-starting and animal cruelty. We learned that there is a biological family history of generational violence, bipolar, depression and generational alcoholism on both sides. His "old school" psych has refused, for reasons beyond my comprehension, to evaluate, consider or treat him for BP, but is treating for ADHD (SA Ritalin) and sleep disturbances (Clonidine). He recently prescribed tricylic antidepressants as well because son had been threatening suicide (during a depressed cycle), but after much personal research (and our suspicions of BPD) we chose not to give him those for fear of psychotic/suicidal reaction. One of the main warnings of that drug was not to give to patients if there is even a possibility of BPD. It's the one medication decision WE made that goes against the pdoc. We are presently acquiring new insurance so that we can switch psychs and hopefully get a better evaluation.
I read The Bipolar Child searching for answers on my own, and it was as if a light switch had been turned on. THAT was MY CHILD.
I am not able to work as I never know if he's going to get to school on time (or even get out of bed!) or need to come home, or sleep at night, and we have lots of therapy appts, I have to help him with homework which takes hours at times, and generally, raising him has consumed my entire life. My son needs constant supervision because of his impulsive and dangerous behaviors, but we also walk on eggshells at times to not "trigger" him. Often, no matter what we do, he's spinning out of control and verbally and physically assaulting mostly ME, his mother. He rules the house when he's "spinning". Literally spinning. In a rage, he destroys property and has tried to hurt himself by banging his head, throwing his body against the walls and kitchen counters and hitting his own self. When he's depressed, he threatens suicide and says he has no friends and is stupid and withdraws. He does fin in school. The minute I pick him up from school and he feels "safe", often he starts begging for food or candy and being aggressive and oppositional. Most outsiders and friends don't see this side of him. He begs us to hit him. There are other times when it does feel normal and we can do normal family things (always keeping in mind at any moment we may have to try and head of a meltdown or rage, or leave an activity all together), but as time goes on, that "normal" is less and less and his behaviors are more severe and frightening. He has threatened to stab me and cut my head off while in a rage. His pupils are so dialated that his blue eyes are almost black and he seems "not there". He is very remorseful when an episode is over. Sometimes, he doesn't even recall all that he's done. He describes how he feels when he's cycling as his brain "is a computer and it has to much stuff spinning around in it". His life is miserable and we don't know how to help him.
This can't be just ADHD. He has a wonderful therapist, but there is only so much she can do. I just wondered if anyone else had this kind of struggle getting proper help and dx for their child so young?
Sad, scared, tired, beat up, mommy...
Reversing a Decade of Progress
In a wonderfully written and well-thought out article, award-winning author, journalist, and online friend, John McManamy grades the new DSM-V proposals regarding Childhood Bipolar. Very well done, Mr. McManamy. Very well done. If only they'd listen to the voice of reason...
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)